pause

Things are a little hectic around here lately, and that might just be the understatement of the year.  Packing with a toddler and a newborn...is...well...there are really no words.  Lets just say I am in mothering survival mode.  Sadie has been spending a lot of time watching Curious George on the iPhone and Eli has been spending a lot of time screaming and spitting up and needing to be held constantly.  I am scrambling to get anything done, and this whole week has felt like the proverbial one step forward, two steps back.  At 7 o'clock today I set Eli down in his chair, where he immediately commenced fussing and I sat down to have a moment's rest.  Sadie was intensely engaged in the umpteenth party dance of the day.  Suddenly the song changed to "Atlas Hands" by Benjamen Francis Leftwich and Sadie crawled up in my lap and put her arms around my neck and said, "mama snuggle Eli, mama oozed to snuggle Sadie" and I realized how long it has been since I just had a quiet moment with my little girl.  And even though there were a million things to do and a baby demanding to be held I just pushed pause to enjoy the sweetness of a two-year-old's unfaltering affection.  It was the kind of moment you just want to lock away in your heart because you know that in a blink of an eye your kids will be grown and your life will be calm and settled, but you will miss this moment of chaos and stress because all you will remember is that sweet face and "fruffy" head of curls, and sticky fingers that need washed and how much you love, love love this little person who is having to be so very grown up all of a sudden. That is the hardest thing about going from one to two. But when I see how adoringly Eli already smiles at his big sister, and how sweet and gentle she is when she helps me give him a bath and a baby "sassage" (massage) I know that soon enough all these kinks will smooth out and these two will be thick as thieves--and that they will teach one another so many important lessons of co-operation and compassion. Sometimes you just have have faith that the pieces will all fall together in their own time, and sometimes you just need to pause for a snuggle. 

After all, "gee--I wish I hadn't snuggled and loved up my babies every moment I possibly could" said no mother ever.