sliding into winter

This morning we awoke to the first snow of the season.  Perfect. White. Still. "Do you want to go sledding today?" Loren asks Sadie.  "Yes!" She shouts enthusiastically, "and find a Christmas tree and eat candy canes!" 

Eli goes to the door and gets his boots.  This is probably the first winter for him as far as memory serves, as bundled up & backpacked as we kept him last year. This season, he is ready to dive head first into winter.  Literally.  That is his way, this funny little guy of ours.

I'm ready for winter too.  This next few months is going to be a whirlwind of non-stop holiday delight and family merry-making, peppered with some much anticipated travel to the far off exotic shores of Southeast Alaska.

I used to dread Alaska's long winters, but something about having children has just re-invented holiday cheer for me.  The gift of seeing the marvels of the changing seasons through their young eyes is a treasure beyond anything I could have dreamed up myself.

Its funny how just a little shift in perspective can change your entire outlook on something.

until one day you wake up and find yourself saying the exact words you swore you never would.

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.

Words by Robert Frost

Photos by Tara

Spectacular fall colors and children by God.

simplifying

This past January, when I blew the candles out on my very delicious, very non-paleo tirimisu joint-birthday-with-my-husband cake I wondered what it is that a happy mom of two beautiful, healthy children could even wish for.  It has taken me a couple of months to come up with it.  This year, I want to simplify our material world so we can spend more time with each other, and less time being distracted by our things.  It's funny, because when we moved from Nome we got rid of so much stuff-but we still have so much stuff. How does that work?
The cincher on my decision to do this has really been this book:

 

This book is really good. 

I would say it is a must-read for every intuitive-minded parent who feels like something is just not right with the way our society approaches childhood, and child-rearing.  I could go on for a long time about all the awesome things that are in here, but for simplicity sake I will stick to the topic at hand--see how I tied that in? Im already meeting my goal!

A large section of this book is dedicated to ways that you can enrich your children's (and really your own) time by simplifying both your family's material possessions as well as schedules.  My hope is that we will be able to enrich our family's time by paring down in the following areas:

Simplifying what we eat:  The paleo diet does this beautifully.  Not only does buying no packaged and processed food reduce the amount of garbage and waste we make, but the meal choices are very simple and nourishing.  Allowing Sadie to help (legitimately) with meal preparation--doing things like washing vegetables or stirring & seasoning has almost eliminated her fussy eating...except for mushrooms.  She very politely informed me that, "I don't care for mushrooms, mom, but you and dad can go ahead and eat 'em all up." I'll take it.

Simplifying what we wear: Can I just say that the laundry situation in my house has become REE-donkulous.  Between all the clothes that the kids receive as gifts/ hand-me-downs, and what we buy them there. are. piles. It's hard when they are little and go through sizes so fast.  I swear 2/3 of Eli's clothes are two small for him, so there they sit in random spots while I dig through the unfolded laundry to find that one pair of pajamas I'm looking for.  I am never caught up on laundry. And me--I have a ton of clothes just sitting around in piles and I always wear the same five old outfits, so why do I need them all? To make matters worse, we seem to have a bazillion sheets, towels and blankets that always need washed because a diaper blew out or a baby puked, or something.  Kids are messy. I get it. But I have this thought, that If I can reduce the over all amount of textiles in our house there will be less washing and more importantly, less folding and putting away, which is the part of laundry that I can never seem to get to.  I would also like our things to be good quality.  Nothing worse than a cheap shirt for your kid that shrinks up to nothing the first time you wash it-- or seams that fray and come un-done.  I don't have time to mend that stuff, so when I do buy new for any of us, its going to be fewer things of more lasting quality.  I will also try to make stuff myself, whenever realistic.

Simplifying our schedule: This is pretty easy for me, I stay home with the kids, so have a little more flexibility in setting the pace for our days---but still, I need to observant of not rushing my children from enriching activities so I can drag them along on this or that errand that needs run, etc.  My one major goal is to be able to sit down for dinner together at a reasonable time, as a family with no interruptions.  Every night.  I think that is becoming such a lost art, but it's so, so important to the heart and soul of family.

Reducing screen time:  We don't have t.v. but the computer can be just as bad.  After seeing how Sadie's imaginative play began to flourish, and her less-desirable behaviors drastically decreased when our computer was broken for a month I am a firm believer that less=more when it comes to time spent on electronic devices--for all of us.

Downsizing the toy collection: We have really tried to keep toy clutter to a minimal amount in our home, but it creeps in.  Payne recommends the following approach to reducing the amount of toys (there is some sound research behind this--and it very true in my personal experience as well) in your home so your children are not overwhelmed and can use the things they have imaginatively, and care for them.  The process is to gather up all your toys and get rid of half of them.  Keep only toys that you know can hold your child's interest for multiple play sessions.  Fixed toys (items that only do one specific kind of play) get chucked.  Toys that encourage corrosive play--in the garbage, toys that are broken and unfixible...garbage.  When you are down to half your toys, divide that pile in half again.  Those are probably all the more toys a child needs.  At this point you can take the second half of the toys and create a toy lending library, so that your child can periodically swap out a toy for one in the library which is like getting a new toy with no net gain.  I would also like to make sure that for the most part, the toys we do have our made out of natural materials like wood, wool, and other things that aren't ridden with chemicals that are toxic to youngun's body's (and souls.)

Reduce the amount of plastic in our lives:

I don't think there is much more to say about this.  The only true way to reduce the amount of plastic in your home is to step back from the consumreistic rush of buy, buy, buy. If we absolutely need something and it contains plastic then we will get it--but it needs to be essential to the functionality of our household.

So there it is.  I read somewhere once that by writing it down (or saying it out loud) you make it so.  Well this is my manifesto for 32--it seems like it should be simple enough;)

making a good life goes paleo

If you know me, than you are probably rolling your eyes about my title, because I am kind of a geek about nutrition--as in, for fun I read hoards of literature ranging from the very scientific to the, ahem, extremely fwowed out, hippie fabulous, on what is the optimal diet for the human body.  I should have probably been a dietician.   Vegan, vegetarian, Raw food, slow food, juice fasting...you name the movement I've probably done it or at least read about it.  I'm kind of a Michael Pollan groupie, and when I was teaching I even made my students watch the documentary food Inc. and write about it.

 I guess that I've had this nagging feeling all my life that it is extremely important what you choose to fuel your body with, and that the status quo (aka the SAD diet) is not the best one to follow.  You would think with this attitude I would be the model of health and fitness, but as I sit here writing this I can tell you that I am not.  In fact, I have struggled with eating disorders since the time I was a teenager (probably before that) and for me, finding balance in my food choices is something I wrestle with every day, and I probably will for my whole life.

When I was several months preggers with Eli, I bought these shoes--Merrel barefoot running shoes.  They made my feet and legs feel so good I started researching minimalist running, and in doing so stumbled upon the Paleo diet and gave it a whirl for a month.  I was surprisingly impressed with the results I experienced, namely AMAZING energy (which isn't easy to come by in your first trimester of pregnancy, I assure you.) I read all kinds of info from the internet, and then I read Robb Wolf's book and it really was food for though, no puns intended. I should have gone paleo and never gone back then and there, but then a series of events kind of got in the way.  Pregnancy, teaching, lots of travel, chasing my child, having another baby, moving to a new city, holidays, vacations, you know...life.

I meant to get started up with the Paleo diet this January, and it just wasn't happening.  I was in a major food rut.  Dinner time (both the preparation and consumption of) was a time I dreaded and loathed.  I was frustrated because Eli would fuss and Sadie decided this was the time of day she needed to terrorize the house, leading to many cooking distractions, excessive messes and burned or soggy food.  To top it off, she (always a good eater in the past) would barely touch anything I cooked.  Then there was the puzzle of my husband not always knowing when he would be home from work or class, and you add all that up and I was literally crying big crocodile tears into my cooking pots as I fixed dinners that I knew I would be the only one eating.  It was like a scene straight out of Like Water for Chocolate.  Deeepressing.  Especially for me, because I love to cook. But I wasn't loving to cook anymore.

Then a series of random, or not so random, events began to crop up in my life. I like to think of this as the way the universe likes to nudge you back onto your true path, and when you don't listen the nudges become more like roundhouse kicks to your consciousness.  They began gently, and subtly, and incresed in frequency and obviousness until I finally had to say, "okay, okay universe...I get the point. I really needed to give this Paleo thing another try." And in doing so, I need to revamp the way our whole family approaches food--and observes the rituals of mealtimes--before we miss out what I believe is probably one of the brighter spots in in quality time a family can spend together.  Without boring you with all the tedious details that led me to that decision--I'll save those for future posts, yo--I would just like to state for the record that March will be the month of the Whole 30 Paleo challenge in our house, and I will be posting recipes, and observations regarding said challenge, on Fridays, if you wish to follow along, or even join in the fun.  So fix yourself some bacon and eggs, and hop on over to Marks Daily Apple for some great stories and info, and I will see you next Friday.

Buddha does my dishes.

 I have to admit, this has been kind of a bad week for escalating stress over tasks that seem to be piling up around the household.  A couple of people around here, and I wont mention any names, have actually been getting into some pretty awful (and dumb) arguments regarding said tasks.  Anyone who has ever had a baby can attest to the fact that, delightful as they may be, they don't make getting the chores done any easier.  I have been feeling in over my head, and getting kind of angry about it.  This evening I was reading in a little book of Buddhist meditations and it got me thinking.... I don't really think of washing my dishes, folding piles of laundry (and then re-folding them as Sadie dumps them on the floor), or cleaning up around Sadie's high chair for the umpteenth time that day as a time to practice self-centering, but really, what better time to be mindful?  

So even though it was 9pm, and I had already done lots of chores today, and I was tired, and I was the one who cooked everyone dinner, I decided to tackle my uber-messy kitchen in a zen fashion tonight.  

I didn't wish the job on anyone else.

As I loaded the dishwasher I thought of how lucky we are to live in a place that even has such a luxury.

While washing the coffee pot I thought of how nice it will be to have a steaming cup of black wake-me-up in the morning, without having to wash it.

Scrubbing the cooking pots to a nice shiny silver just made me feel happy--

I like it when things are shiny.

I enjoyed the simple way the wooden utensils clacked together as they stacked in the drainer.

Instead of feeling grumpy, and resentful, I felt energized as I mopped the floor to a nice gleaming white, even knowing full well that it will be covered with muddy foot and paw prints by noon tomorrow.

Its funny how in life the best path to follow can sometimes be the one right in front of you;  you might just need to kick some weeds aside.

Call it an attitude adjustment, a perspective tweak, or whatever you will, all I can say is that from now on Buddha is going to be doing the dishes around here, because by letting go of my negativity I feel refreshed and satisfied.
I know that tomorrow I will have way more energy to devote to the things that are 
really  important.

peace,

Tara

Reflecting on the Death of Bin Laden: Loren's 10 cents.

(okay, its actually more like a buck-twenty five)
This is Loren, Tara's husband, posting for myself and not her, so these are my own thoughts.

I concur with the reactions expressed here, and am proud of my wife to articulate such thoughts and have this dialogue with you. I agree with Mama C too, that it is healthy and necessary to address the controversial and reflect on the aspects of this and similar events. That we can in this manner, we should give thanks for such freedom of speech...

The death of bin ladin is complex. It has tremendous propaganda value, expressing the "might of the USA" and our ability to "procure justice for all." Presumably this amounts to equal retributions for those who would sin against us (though more than 40% of the US population purports to routinely pray for "forgiveness of those who sin against us" on a regular Christian basis, rather than "two taps to the head"). The killing of bin ladin "as a way to cut off the head of the snake," presumes an undeniable guilt (he did admit to helping plan 9/11 and was proud of that act, and continued to lead others to attempt other such acts of violence after all). Further bin ladin's guilt, the scope of his crimes, and the risks he seemed to pose to the free world have all been used to justify what amounts to the targeted killing of multiple peoples, including women and in front of children, and the invasion of air space of a sovereign nation. And most of the Western world, and surprisingly Arab world, have taken this all in stride. We Americans even took to the streets to "celebrate." This "victory over evil" has been compared to the successful downing of Admiral Yamamoto's aircraft during World War II as "one of the greatest American achievements in securing a psychological victory over our aggressors (Bloomberg Media, Wednesday's edition)" in the history of our country.

The reality is the death of bin ladin has little bearing on our security, as I think we all agree. It serves to justify our actions abroad as a waring nation this past decade. It serves to send a warning to terrorists everywhere. It serves to define "good" vs. "evil" with good prevailing. Ever wonder why our history books alwasy show us as "the good guys" in our efforts abroad? It is because we as a culture, more so than many other on the globe today or even those before, have an ingrained conflict of puritanical ways and personal freedoms pitched against a sence of justice for all. If we see ourselves as the good guys, and we want the good guys to win, then we must win in the fights we fight and conflicts we face.

But it is when this sense of justice for all hits home, when we go after the "really bad guys" who have attacked us, killed us even, damaged our homes and homeland, and who would just as soon see small town America afraid as those in our largest cities, that we find ourselves most conflicted.

If we are truly all created equal, if we are all one nation, under God, and are a beacon of hope to the rest of the world, are Reagan's "shining city on the Hill," then how can we justify organized murder led and planned by our highest elected leader? How can we justify the bombing of Dresden, napalm in the jungles of Vietnam, genocide of the First Nations, carpet-bagging in the South, the burning of witches, segregtion of blacks and whites, or the killing of one bin ladin? The answer is we cannot, and that is why we are conflcited, why we shake our heads at those caught up in the national fervor, embraced by the media and say "that's not me, that's not US."

And that in fact is what we should all do. We should all be brave enough to carry this conversation beyond the blog and into our lives and not be afraid to profess love over hate, to profess forgiveness over sins, to stand up for what we believe in and see freedom of equality applying to our unmet brothers and sisters around the globe, and yes, even our enemies.

(By the way, this philosophy of love your neighbor is really bad business. You can't sell military hardware or virus protectors or hand guns or international export taxes with the ironically-named Golden Rule. You won't get elected president if you try to love the terrorists. But you might sleep better at night, and your life will be richer for it.)

In the end there is no glory in killing, regardless of your justification. I have wanted to kill humans before when my mother was the victim of a violent crime. I have had moments where I would not have hestiated to kill those who threatened my family. I have held a handgun to a stranger's head who came in to my home at night, drunk and lost. I have killed animals to feed others and looked in their eye as they died at my hands. I promise you there is no glory in any of this. My grandfather was a WWII veteran who served in the army and saw combat and never ever spoke of glory of his actions, only warned that I do everything in my power to never go to war if I could help it.

And so there is no glory in bin lad in's death. There is no glory in the streets of New York. There is at best closure for some, and at worst political propaganda busy at work and fueled by a largely biased media. And that is why, I think, we don't feel very American watching others cheer the death of another man. I suspect there were many beyond the crowds of Golgotha who felt much the same.

Hate cannot drive out hate.

”I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

I don't usually blog about topics political on here, as it seems those topics tend to be ones that can cause dissention amongst friends and family, and that really isn't the point of this blog. That being said, I have been feeling a heaviness this week, a sense of something very spiritually amiss while following the national response to the recent death of Osama Bin Laden.

It is an interesting phenomenon to see people actively celebrating the death of another human being. Was Bin Laden an evil man? He was a man who chose to live by the ideals of intolerance and hatred. There are many people in the world who live by those ideals. What made Bin Laden unique was that he had a tremendous ability to make other people believe in his ideals. Maybe his "evilness" was a function of his influence more than anything else.

People who live by the sword generally die by the sword, so the fact that Bin Laden is finally dead, if he indeed is, should come as no surprise. What is a surprise to me is seeing so many people making a party out of the occasion, including many members of the religious community. I came across the above MLK Jr. quote on a friend's Facebook page and the truth in it really rings clear. Celebrating Osama Bin Laden's death as though it is the end of all evil in the world is incredibly naive. And celebrating the death of any human is a reflection of the values of hatred and intolerance which have already been the cause of so much loss and sorrow, not just for Americans, but for people all over the world.

When people say things like, "we can all sleep better at night now that Bin Laden is dead" it makes me lay awake at night trying to figure out why. Are we really safer now? If we are, you will soon see the government backing up out of everyone's coolaid with their myriad infringements on our civil liberties in the name of national security. All my money, marbles and chalk says that aint gonna happen. Do you know why? Its because we are no safer now than we ever were, or ever will be until humans stop relying on wars as a way to solve our problems.

What peace of mind does that passing of Bin Laden actually offer people? Bin Laden was just a man, but the power of his ideas went well beyond what any one human is capable of. In his passing, we can hope that his ideas die with him, but they wont. There are probably hundreds of other men and women with the same ideals, and powers of persuasion waiting in the wings to take his place. Celebrating Osama Bin Laden's death is easy, in a "yeah, we got the bad guy" kind of way. But easy does not always equal best.

Especially for those in the spiritual community, this should be a sobering time, a time to reflect on the values we promote in our own lives. The only way to really stamp out the negative impression that Bin Laden has left on this earth is to fill it with an even greater amount of love and understanding. To do that takes the persistent and unrewarded work of many lifetimes, but it is, in my humble opinion, well worth our best efforts. There was this one guy, I think his name was Jesus, and he encouraged us all to strive towards this goal.

We need to do better, to put our race, politics and religion aside and engage in a meaningful dialogue with someone who is "different" or makes us feel uncomfortable. Reach out to our neighbors, to our community, and to our brothers and sisters of the human race. We need to be mindful of the ripple effect that our actions and attitudes have in our global community, and how those actions can shape the attitudes and beliefs of others. We are all children of God. All humans are born with the seeds of both good and evil, but it is our environment, and ultimately our own choices, which dictate which ones we cultivate. Water the right seeds, think about the bigger picture. Don't just go with what is easy, or pop-patriotic. In doing so, you also set an example for the people around you. You might become a light in the darkness for someone who would otherwise become very, very lost. Lost like Osama Bin Laden. It wont matter how much money we invest in wars, and military intel, Osama Bin Ladin will never be dead until we can weed out our own hatred and ignorance.

the power of prayer.

    Not so long ago I received a lecture from someone about NOT letting them know the exact time of a certain difficult event so that they could be praying for me... at the exact time it was happening.  To tell the truth,  I found this very puzzling.  In my way of thinking, if the outcome is already determined by God, why do they need to know all the direct details for prayer purposes?  Does praying really need to be that organized and scheduled?
     That event got me thinking about prayer, and how it can mean so many different things and take on so many forms.  It made me ask myself the question: Why do we pray?
      Now don't get me wrong.  I appreciate it any time when any of my fellow human beings are caring enough to put in a thought or request on my behalf to the Higher Authority,  but it is so strange to me how some people go about it.  I guess for discussion purposes maybe we could divide prayer into two categories, altruistic prayer and selfish prayer.
     Selfish prayer takes on many different forms. Take for example the control freak prayer.  This is the person who believes that the whole world will fall apart unless they know everyones' bizz-nass so they can act as a direct go-between for all their acquaintances and God. These prayers are usually asking for specific outcomes (what the pray-er personally believes the outcome of the situation SHOULD be). I think this prayer must inevitably lead to disappointment and frustration on the part of the pray-er when things don't work out to their plan. 
     Then there is the prayer of disapproval. This type of "praying" is when a person disapproves of something you are doing and they punish you by stating in a pitying or judgmental tone, "I'll be praying for you."  And you know that they are mentally tacking the word "sinner" on to the end of that statement.
     The third type of selfish prayer (and I am DEFINITELY guilty of this on occasion) is the bargaining chip prayer.  This one is the "dear God, if you just make _________ happen, then I promise I will never do____________ again."
     It is easy to pray selfishly, given our human-ness, and I think God understands that--she/he designed us after all.
     I often find myself praying when the universe seems to be spinning out of control and I need to focus and meditate.  When I pray for a person in difficult circumstances I try to focus directly on them and send them love/healing/strength/courage... whatever it is that may be appropriate to their trial.  Frequently throughout the day I think of my family and loved ones and send a quick message of gratitude to the creator for blessing me with such a rich life and so many people to love.  When I am outdoors I feel like I am inadvertently offering a continual prayer of gratitude.  The beauty of nature never ceases to make my soul feel overflowing with joy. Sometimes my prayers are selfish, due to my limited world view. My prayers are always very informal.  
     But to get back to my original thought about how God has a plan, and can we really change his plan (aka the outcome) by praying hard enough?  I don't think we can.  In spite of our most heart-felt prayers, good people still die, horrible things still happen in the world, sometimes it seems like evil wins.  Do our prayers even matter?
     I think they do.  I think part of the Creator's bigger plan is that we as humans lift each other up in love.  That is altruistic prayer, I believe.  Maybe the collective love that exists in our prayers for each other is enough to lighten the load, and light the way on this long and windy path that all humans walk on.  Someday, I hope we all get to see what the grander scheme really looks like, but until we have that perspective we should continue to lift each other up unselfishly, in mindfulness and love, regardless of our race, credo or religious affiliations.  Maybe that is the TRUE power of prayer.

Weathering Winter in Western Alaska

Looks like those happy summer days of fishing, berry picking and sunshine are retreating under the blanket of cold that is enveloping our region, tucking us in for a long chilly nap. 

Winter in Alaska can be an isolating time for people, especially here in our region where we become literally isolated by our geography and climate.   Isolation can do funny things to people, and unfortunately it often goes hand-in-hand with a spike in substance abuse, domestic violence, depression and even suicide.

When I think of the long days of darkness ahead and I start to feel my spirits sinking, I like to remind myself that people have been weathering out the winters for hundreds of years on the Seward Peninsula.  What was their trick? I do believe it was keeping busy.  With all the bountiful harvest of berries, fish and meat put up for the winter it was time to get busy with indoor projects.  Traditionally that may have meant sewing a new parky or pair of mukluks, carving ivory, tools and frames for skin boats, and many other projects that kept the day-to-day living and subsistence endeavors alive.  Winter was a time to make good food, good music, tell stories and enjoy the company of family. Many here in our region still use winter as a time to do these things, but many do not.

Unfortunately, with the down time winter presents, many find themselves bored, restless and cramped inside.  They solve this problem by heading down town to drown these miserable feelings in alcohol.  I can’t think of a more isolating substance than alcohol; an altered state of consciousness, and the decisions and actions that go with it, have the potential to alienate us from our neighbors, friends and families. When we finally sober up and come back to reality, we have to face our decisions, the people we hurt, and the fact that all our money is gone. Talk about depressing.

This winter I would encourage all of us to find a constructive outlet, and do something productive that brings joy to our body and spirit.  Luckily for us, Nome is replete with fun activities to do in the winter if you know where to look.  If you need a physical outlet, head down to the Rec and snag a workout and sauna. Join a city-league team for camaraderie and competition, or venture out to Nome Beltz and cheer on our local youth as they compete. If you want to challenge your brain, consider taking a class at NWC.  Not only are there a variety of challenging and useful academic classes offered there, you can also learn some traditional art forms like skin sewing, beading or carving.  You can tinker in plywood sculpture, pottery, or printmaking or learn how to fix your snowmachine yourself.  Taking a class is a great way to meet and mingle with people from outside your usual social circle. The Nome Arts Council keeps things hoppin’ all winter long with live music at open mike nights, and keep your ear to the ground for cultural celebrations that feature some of the amazing, talented drummers and dancers from the region.  These are just a few of the fun things happening in Nome.  So listen to the radio, check out the paper, and the bulletin boards around town for more info.

Most importantly, use this down time to spend some quality time with your loved ones.  If you know of someone who lives alone and has no family here, reach out to them and make them feel included.  We are a community, lets put the focus on togetherness and shut out isolation this winter.